Emmy-losing Writer/Director (@nbcSNL, @JimmyKimmelLive, @Netflix, @CBS, @ComedyCentral, @NewYorker). Follow me on IG: ZackBornstein

Los Angeles, CA
Joined June 2009
Finally some good news, scientists discovered a treatment that can reduce COVID19 transmission by 70%, and its just a piece a cloth you wear in front of your dumb fucking face
2,555
225,565
869,735
Show this thread
Remember when they told us to give Trump a chance and now I can't see the sky bc LA has too much cremation smog
As Los Angeles County battles against the unrelenting coronavirus, an air pollution control agency says it has temporarily suspended limits on cremations in order to assist crematoriums in the county with a "backlog" caused by the pandemic. cnn.it/2LzwXFy
27
695
2,349
Thoughts and prayers
Breaking: The National Rifle Association says it has filed a petition for bankruptcy
Show this thread
23
336
2,430
Movies didn’t prepare us for the apocalypse to be this stupid
74
533
6,003
If I die of COVID you have my permission to wing my dead body at Trump during a press conference like that guy who threw a shoe at Bush
58
316
3,844
BREAKING: Trump becomes first actor from Home Alone 2 to be impeached twice
474
8,775
108,395
Show this thread
Me booking a flight, finding someone to cover my shifts, unpacking my woodworking tools at the hotel, double-checking the event time, showing up early to construct gallows, memorizing the basement escape routes, storming the capitol with zip-ties: "I was caught up in the moment"
136
5,563
40,725
Say what you will, but GOP deserves credit for bravely turning their back on Trump a few days before he is leaving anyway after they felt personally threatened for the first time
49
427
3,258
PENCE: "I met with the President. We had a productive conversation about the mob he sent to hang me, and I stand behind him that it was the right thing to do."
227
2,847
23,838